I’m a Mean Girl

I’ve always been glad that I haven’t been able to relate to being an intentional “mean girl” toward other women. And then, this week on Thanksgiving, the mean girl in me came out. Not toward any of my girlfriends, but to my husband.

While in my kitchen surrounded by countertops holding the makings of green bean casserole and cornbread, I was saying unkind things under my breath about my husband. Quiet enough for the grandkids not to hear, but loud enough for Jesus to hear when they were still a thought. He responded to me with four words.

You’re a Mean Girl.  


I was upset with my husband, and I let him know it.  Through my tone of voice, in my words never to be found in the Bible, in my slamming of doors, and even by way of the looks I put in an arrow and shot his way. I made the meanest of all girls look like she was wearing a halo while I donned her Diva crown.

Jesus saying I was being a Mean Girl made me realize that even when I get upset with my husband, pleasing God with my thoughts, words and actions must override trying to prove I’m right and he is wrong. I need to respect Him by respecting him. 

•A Mean Girl causes her husband to want to live on the corner of the roof instead of in the house sitting in front of the TV, remote in hand in a comfy chair. {Proverbs 21:9}

*A Wise Woman brings her husband good, not harm. {Proverbs 31:11}

•A Mean Girl speaks reckless words instead of healing ones. {Proverbs 12:18}

*A Wise Woman has faithful instruction on her tongue. {Proverbs 31:26}

•A Mean Girl isn’t patient and doesn’t overlook an offense. {Proverbs 19:11}

*A Wise Woman fears the Lord {Proverbs 31:30}

I want my husband to see Jesus in my face, not the scowl of a Mean Girl. Thankful to the Lord for showing me on Thanksgiving Day what is pleasing in His sight.

If you drive by our house and notice Gene sitting on the corner of our roof, feel free to stop by and slap the Mean Girl out of me. In love, of course, but slap hard. 🙂



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Thanks be to God


Last week I flew to Texas for four days to attend a writer’s retreat. My airfare was a gift

from someone who believes in me as a writer. Someone who wanted me to get me away from my normal to learn from other writers.

I had heard good things about the retreat site that’s hidden on the Frio River in a canyon. I also knew that the High Calling, who was putting on the retreat is a group you can trust with your dreams.

Hours before my girlfriends, Deidra and Helen, picked me up to go to the airport, doubt mocked me with lies that I wouldn’t fit in with this group of amazing, deep thinking writers. Doubt straight from the enemy. Doubt I silenced with Scripture.

By the time they pulled in my driveway, my confidence was back in God

The hour-long car ride to the airport was filled with rich conversation between the three of us and I knew I was getting a taste of what lied ahead for me.

There were six of us picked up at the San Antonio airport by our fellow dreamer, Tina, and after a 2 hour drive, we arrived at Laity Lodge. We had to drive through a river into the canyon and that’s when I realized that no pre-trip description of this place could have prepared my heart for such beauty.

IMG_8953373192572 IMG_8972216836703

I felt like I just walked into a painting by the Ultimate Artist.

Pulling my suitcase down the gravel path to my room I felt like I was home for a family reunion. I felt a belonging, cheered on and loved.

To sum up my time at Laity Lodge I would compare it to Thanksgiving.

Whenever we go to my Grandparents home for a family gathering, my Grandpa refuses to allow you to leave without your arms full of leftovers. You’d arrive with one side dish and leave with meals for days. He makes you feel loved.


That’s how I feel.

Loved, thankful, looked out for, blessed beyond measure and full. Full of God’s goodness and provision. What I brought to the table doesn’t compare to what I took home.

Thank You Jesus. You didn’t have to send me to Laity Lodge, but I’m so thankful You did and I’m forever grateful and changed within.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!



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Telling His Story

Today, I have the privilege of being a featured Storyteller on my girlfriend and new book author, Jennifer Lee’s blog in her Tell His Story series. Click the picture to read “Keep Him”.














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little faith in a BIG God

Have you ever been nudged by God to believe Him, but when you look at the situation of impossibility sitting in your lap, you politely decline? I have. I’d love to tell you it was years ago that I had unbelief in the Almighty One, but it’s been more recent then that. It’s been today.

When I recall the miraculous moments in my life, it’s ridiculous to me how easily I dismiss His credentials and suddenly convince myself that He’s not capable for this particular job.

This summer we had a company tell us that if we didn’t fix our basement walls soon we would lose the foundation of our home. The impossibility was that the job would cost over $6,400.00. We had less than $20.00 in our savings account as of the end of August. The job was scheduled for November and then they bumped it up to the end of September.

We prayed little and tried problem-solving a lot, only to come to the frustrating conclusion that we had to take out a loan. That’s when the God who claims that nothing is impossible with Him proved the truth of that statement. Money began to come in to our life in weird ways. For example, a check we were expecting was double the amount. This happened time and time again over the next few weeks and by the time Thrasher Basement arrived to fix our broken walls, God had squashed the master-mind plan of the Chealey’s to borrow and provided all of the money needed for a job that requires full payment upon completion.

At the end of the day, Gene wrote Thrasher out a check. For the full amount.


So why when I receive an email this morning regarding an opportunity for writing that I’ve been praying about do I instantly grab the hands of doubt because of finances? Why would I not remember “the basement miracle” that had Gene and I praising and in a state if awe? I need to believe versus doubt. God is capable of the opportunity before me and I have to believe that if this is His plans for me that He will provide.

The human part of me looks at the calendar and savings account as the opportunity nears and says, “impossible” while the Jesus seeker in me walks around my basement, running my hands along the repaired paid-in-full walls and says, “I believe.”



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Cheering for freedom

After our weekly visit with our son, I rush to my car and drive to the side of the prison, hoping for one last view of him until the next visit as he walks into his unit. Gene thinks I’m silly and dramatic, but it’s a Momma thing. Every time I have tried for the last look I have missed seeing him, until this past Saturday.

imageI was with my sister and Aaron’s girlfriend, and when we saw him, I honked my horn and yelled, we love you, Aaron! His eyes were probably rolling as he waved, but I was too far away to notice.

When I see him again in 7 days, he will more than likely agree with his Dad and call it silly and dramatic, but I know my boy…he secretly loved my form of encouragement and I’m okay with him never admitting it.

Sunday night I led the “Surrendering the Secret” Bible study for post-abort women. I sat with women who have each held their secret of shame for years. 40 years total between them that they were held prisoner by this secret. I shared this picture of my son and told them that as I am doing for him, I will be cheering them on as I stand on free ground waiting for the day they walk out of their prison.

When people in our lives are not walking in God’s freedom in all areas of their life, we need to be there for them. We need to cheer them on as they seek their healing, peace and freedom. We do this by praying for them and encouraging them. Somedays they may roll their eyes, but don’t stop being their cheerleader. Keep honking and yelling “I love you!”

No matter what kind of past or present we have, God has freedom only He can give waiting for us, because as Psalm 146:7 tells us, “The Lord sets prisoners free”.

Cheering you on,




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